About > Couples-Related Background
Couples-Related Background
Summary: How my training and personal history inform my work with couples.
I have been fascinated by relationships ever since seeing what my parents went through - the vexing mix of love and strife in their connection. As an adult, I had two parallel experiences that schooled me in the world of couples:
1. On a professional level, I became a Marriage and Family Therapist, learning about the different kinds of couples counseling during my training. Once licensed, i read everything I could and studied with the best Attachment people (John Gottman, Sue Johnson, Amir Levine and Rachel Heller, David Wallin, Diana Fosha). Attachment seemed like the the missing link that could reduce the suffering of love and open the door to peace in the human heart. 
2. On a personal level, while I was an intern and newly licensed, I was married to a man I dearly loved but from whom I frequently felt disconnected. Wanting to preserve our love, we sought couples counseling, and I learned firsthand what did and did not help. I consider both of these experiences to be my training as a couples counselor. 
You may have heard it said that, when it comes right down to it, the religions of the world are all saying the same thing. This is also true for couples counseling methods. Each one seeks to help people feel safe enough with each other that they can be vulnerable and express their feelings, instead of getting angry, putting down, judging, or trying to change the other person. I have blended the philosophies of the Atttachment experts with my knowledge of the inner critic to form a personal style that can guide couples through even the toughest moments. Then couples reduce fighting at home.