A major aspect of couples therapy is that you are acquiring a skill set.

There is hardly a worse feeling than when you are not getting along with a loved one. Most people have disagreements, but if there is a chronic pattern of conflict or disconnection, it is deeply discouraging.

Humans are wired for attachment so when there is distance or discord in the relationship, the body goes into a fight, flight, freeze or fawn response. It’s biological because connection is equated with survival. This is why we feel so low when we are not getting along. It is also why we might fly off the handle if we can’t reach a loved one (“You didn’t text back!”). The nervous system goes on high alert. This is also called “getting triggered”.

Many of us did not learn how to handle being triggered, because our parents didn’t know, either. A major aspect of couples therapy, therefore, is that you are acquiring a skill set. People who come to see me learn to

• work with their triggers

• find internal support so as not to take out their frustrations on their partner - or themselves

• love themselves so they are still OK if the partner is not available sometimes.

As the work progresses, clients develop the ability to be present for themselves and each other, making the relationship into a source of healing, not a source of further injury.

You can be free from obsession about food and your body

Have you lost weight and then gained it back? Do you feel out of control around food? Are you dominated by thoughts about what you ate and how you look? Have you tried to address this, without lasting success?

Disliking your body and being preoccupied with food is so constant and started so long ago, you may wonder if it will ever be any different.

Of course you would feel frustrated that this part of your life has not changed. But a relaxed relationship with your body and a carefree way of eating are very, very possible.

My calling is to help people gain freedom from their eating and body image problems. Clients become inspired, vitalized, and powerful once they have insight and tools for getting out of the eating/self-rejection cycle. It is my privilege and pleasure to get to know you, then teach you skills from my Eat in Peace program to foster an easy relationship with food and your body. To read about my story, click here.

Don’t wait any longer to feel better toward yourself. Email me today for an appointment kahnmft@gmail.com.

General Psychotherapy

A healing relationship is offered where you will have experiences of safe connection, learn skills to help you get stronger, and work through historical patterns that have been holding you back.

Coaching is focused on the future and on building skills. I am permitted by law to coach inside and outside California.

Small groups of 3–5 members are available to focus on specific issues such as body image and eating, and reducing co-dependence.

Meditative Meal

Clients practice meditative eating using the steps outlined in the presentations above. People leave having had an experience of paying attention to their bodies and to the food, with an emphasis on enjoying the experience of eating.

Inner Critic Support Group (with or without Art/Drama/Music)

Psych-education and practice group for getting a handle on the role of the inner critic in creating one’s inner experience and influencing one’s actions. In addition to providing emotional support about the evolution of the harsh critic, clients practice claiming their humanity using concrete exercises and the support of the group. Visual arts, drama and music can be incorporated to clarify the voices inside a person and create a sense of power in the face of the critic.

Process Group

Attachment-based psychotherapy group where clients rely on therapist and each other to become vulnerable and receive support instead of rejection.

These presentations or workshops can be given separately for one hour each, or be combined into a three- to six-hour workshop. I have also presented this material to clinicians.

Blood Sugar and You

Students learn how blood sugar affects mood and which eating behaviors throw off blood sugar levels. Presentation includes a discussion of “normal hungry” v. “too hungry” and the physical, emotional and cognitive signs for each. Participants leave knowing how eating affects their ability to stay centered and resilient.

Beat Your Inner Critic so it Doesn't Beat You

This presentation illustrates how the inner critic contributes to compulsive behaviors, how a healthy ego provides the strength to overcome unwanted behaviors, and how eating in accordance with hunger and fullness signals builds healthy ego. Attendees take away an ability to identify when the inner critic or id is taking over when eating, and how to de-escalate.

The Steps to Peaceful Eating

Participants learn the steps that support them to start eating when hungry, stop when full, and feel nourished and satisfied. In addition to concrete steps that lead to a meditative eating experience, enjoyable eating is presented as a way to have pleasure without the use of drugs/alcohol.

Feel Feelings – Don’t Stuff Them

Clients practice expressing emotions and needs for connection instead of turning to food or dieting.

Treating Eating Issues Through Ego Rebalancing

This is a Power Point presentation and workshop for clinicians on how to reduce compulsive eating behaviors through supporting the id, reducing the inner critic, and strengthening a loving ego. (Three to six hours long, depending on how much experiential material the group wants).

ONGOING SERVICES

Assessment for Eating Issues

An extensive evaluation of eating behaviors and attitudes to rule out co- occurring eating issues or the substitution of an eating addiction (or soda/ Red Bull addiction) for the drug/alcohol addiction.

Consultation with other Clinicians

Consultation for clinicians who have questions about eating issues in their clients. Recommendations for current and aftercare treatment of the eating issues. Evaluation of whether a client needs an immediate doctor visit. (I can explain this when we talk).

Seeing Addicts with Eating Issues

When indicated, I see clients who are currently in treatment for addictions to address problematic eating issues. Alternatively, I see clients during their aftercare period, and continue to consult with the addiction counselor.